After 13 years of this I finally realized he was a narcissist and none of the past was ever my fault when he would leave. I’m honestly really done with her behavior, if she has decided she doesn’t want me in her life anymore then why contact me? He is always the victim, and every situation. She gave me free advice but cost too much to teoresent me. You have to realize — and this is hard to accept — that those were all empty words, carefully constructed to pull you in. I deleted and unfollowed him from everything. I would also suggest for you to try for a moment to detach yourself from your personal circumstances and read the post you posted here as if it were a family member or close friend writing you for advice. And it was funny how desperate she got by trying so hard to manipulate my emotions. He had this grand plan to screw me over once again for the same reason (I wasn’t paying enough attention to him) The recordings were so devastating to listen to. And while I enjoy it, I still have that nagging longing inside of me. Then, I came face to face with the two of them in a store on Friday. He also wasn’t sure when he could see me. He finally realized I was serious and retaliated! I wanted to know the same thing about whether or not if he texted or called, do I would unblock him. That was nine months ago, and since then I’ve blocked him on all platforms. When will the madness end! a narcissist can only destroy your life if you allow them to do it. My narc lived with me for over a year and sucked me dry. I deleted it immediately, but I got the same awful feeling deep down that I worked so long to get over and it’s been on my mind all day. I’m praying he goes away…I am fearful now that he is going to try more drastic measures to get my attention. They’ve been doing reconnaissance since the day you met. It’s only been a week since he contacted me last but he must have a new supply because if he’s not bothering me he’s bothering someone else. Oh man; the conversations are very much like this. Exactly what I needed to hear. Cancer (June 22nd to July 22nd) The Cancer man is a notorious home-body. Stay away from these types! I said absolutely not. If I was gonna cut someone out I wouldn’t be doing that. but no more of this we been no contact for 2 weeks and i feel great. But believe me this is the last time.The man is not worthy of me. Good advice. After researching I thinks he’s covert Narc, physco, and bi polar. This is better than he had hoped, now he’s got you engaging in a full-fledged conversation. 13 years is a very long time and you obviously have been conditioned. Since then he had given me the silent treatment so many times I can’t count. He is a full blown narc, it’s scary. One day at a time I guess. I said nothing went and knocked on door. And it’s always my fault. He faked his way into owning half a business then calls them useless they wouldn’t manage without him etc like he does every1 including his friends who were also useless who I never knew half of and his other boss he could do a better job etc he charms and lies his way around everyone and all believe him. I make them pull the lever and get punished. He never stopped trying either he went so hard to get me. He keeps asking me to “cuddle”. But before that I pleaded to Christ, please I will walk out this time lord give me strength, heal me! Your phone buzzes again, it’s another text: Do you remember our first date? I wasn’t flirting with other women. for 30+ yrs. This is absolutely insane. He was probably still seeing her as well. If that’s what you’re dreaming of. Please help. He claimed he stopped seeing her when he found me because he wanted to see where we would go. I am starting no contact as of today with my N. She has me blocked but yet calls me all the time. Attorney says I’m letting him get away with not being responsible. He would say that he never run me down, shouted at me or swore at me but it was abuse because he tried to isolate me and make me doubt my own mind while playing Mr Perfect and showering me with expensive gifts, weekends and holidays as well as making my life easier by me ‘not having to work so much.’ One day I just though, ‘Is this what I think of myself, that I can let someone do this to me?’ And I decided to change I realised that my husband was probably a narcissist too and I just spend most of the marriage making excuses and after the break up trying to get along with him despite verbal and emotional abuse. Time will heal, believe me. Who cares about the narcissistic person. We did the break up make up game more times than I can count. You don’t need to be “mean.” Be clear. He’s sketchy and I’ve already pinned him as a very manipulative borderline narcissist. Genuine people just say something like “That’s okay. Much love! The day after the abuse incident he texted me and said”I’ve done awful things, I’m going straight to hell!” Unfortunately he also told me that he has a job about 10 minutes from where I work. He accomplished so much with me in such a short period of time. Truly scary stuff. This morning in my junk folder, I found an email from him asking me to have a cup of coffee and talk. then i looked for the phone . You tried it once and it did not work. Even now 2 months later, I still find out what he’s been up to, how many women he’s been cheating on me with. Create the life you want to live. I do hope one day I can be back to normal and get my life back. except from the inside out. Every day you manage to stay away from this sickening experience you allow yourself to heal and make that space for the relationship of your dreams. don’t walk away. How can someone say they are in love with you and be flirting on the side, hurting people to make themselves feel better. Ortensia – if your Narcissist has gone and left you alone consider yourself lucky. I keep seeing what I know to be a sociopath (married one) called a narcissist.. confusing… and with way they’re terrible. The fact is that two wrongs don’t make a right. Has he gone for good? People get to see when you broke up, and it’s advertised all over. Every article I’ve read describes him to a T. I had always considered myself an extremely strong person but the impact on my life that continues is horrifying to me. I caught her in so many lies. I have been NC for a fortnight now but this is the 3rd time I have gone NC. played me against another woman. I have no evidence to support this but I think that’s what caused him to officially bail. In my mind I asked myself .. Who says that??? The last time this happened, my N crossed my emotional, sexual and intellectual boundaries within 2 min, giving me the teary, lovely dovey N Stare that says “I love you, love us together, I appreciate you” which is how my N has manipulated me for 24 years. Don’t ask me why, I have no idea. Always felt something was wrong. Keep strong every one.. don’t lose sight of hope. He got upset that his calls went straight to VM. This is it, final straw. During the time I worked, she spent. I’m reading through all the comments and am amazed at how similar everyone’s experiences are. He seems to be on a cycle for every 3-4 months when everything gets on top of him and he leaves me again. from everything i read. They’ve tried sentimentality – that didn’t work, so now they’ll try the connection tactic and your phone goes off again. arealdeejayyyy realdeejayyyy and fellas if you think she cheating, make her alfredo and tell her you're positive she's gonna like it Spade Brown Friday at 5:34 PM If you think he cheating just make him spaghetti Damn y'all nasty from Instagram tagged as Cheating Meme It feels like I am starting all over again. I feel like I must be going crazy but then I read and so many people are describing what I am dealing with and feeling to a tee. these people are incapable of any form of love or empathy. Run, away as fast as you can and never look back! He ended up seducing me and we had sex. No respect for your boundaries. Random things that made no sense and they were things I had no control over. Savannah you are a godsend thank you for taking the time to write these articles. THE THEORY IS ACTUALLY BASED ON PHARAMONES.. Joe and Kamala will help heal this racist nation. I know he treats her like shit also becasue she told me he do and that he been cheating on her for along time. He is in the public eye and has a survival story out there. I read your painf-filled message today. DrSmellThis. But you will get there. How the heck am I supposed to trust her when she would do this on purpose to get a reaction out of me every time. It was flattering but he got real possessive and said we mise well just break up right now cuz this is messed up. I should have walked away when I saw this. I too was dating a Narc for a year. The general rule of thumb for a Narc is that when they are generous it’s not for the sake of being generous – it’s for how it will make them look and the supply they can glean from that. They really do see you as a stupid sucker . It is just so textbook. Will he come after me if I go no contact. It has been a long, hard 2 years with so many terrible stories of disrespect, severe emotional abuse and unhappiness. What Savannah said is so true.. Dr Greg Carr Sets Pharrell Straight on His 'New Black' Theory Pharell Tap Dancing For White Folk! Time and time again she would follow her ex on Instagram. Narcissists are massively insecure and fear rejection, Psychopaths aren’t insecure and they don’t care if you leave them. I am struggling with being no contact with EX as I’m just so used to the pattern of behaviours. Hung up. Telling him you’re ending things is your minds way of tricking you to contact him to help ease the anxiety you are feeling. Twice. But beat up too. One breath, I want him to email me and the same breath I know it will lead to no good. I just find him kinda fascinating. I opened it. I read articles here a LOT to keep my strong. The insults are the worst, he was cooking today and said he wanted to pore hot oil on my body to get some sense into me. I did break the no contact rule for a day but am now doing it again thankful to this article. It helped me a lot these three days. Then after everything just about a month ago. She had to drill into my head that things were NEVER going to be different. Don’t worry about a thing because there is absolutely nothing wrong with you generous loving people. The woman and men that they get involved with change from one to another but the NARCISSIST WILL REMAIN THE SAME !!!! He made it virtually impossible to focus on anything else. I not only lost her, but our friends also. After putting up with a lot of emotional abuse along with one scenario of physical where he pulled my hair n pulled me on the floor, I knew it wasn’t right and was only going to get worse and especially the day before I walked out he was going to treat me better n then the very next day argued with me about me something as stupid regarding the hot water bottles, there was so much I could say but I’d be writing a chapter book… I got my friends and packed up my things and moved out… I didn’t hear from him for a week after I left and I thought that was it. This is the exact way he talks. I’ve gotten to the point where I know he is dping this to punish me for things. I know exactly how you feel. I really needed to read this today also. apparently I was the abusive one towards him? Thank you! I have even disappeared- been in shelters. I’m not bitter, I’m not angry, I’m just COMPLETELY DONE and she won’t accept it. its my fault too. It’s now been a month and a half. I really began to think I was crazy. wow I am amazed there are other horrible men out there praying on loving, caring and loyal people like us. Search it up top on my site. The nerve of him, after everything he’s done. Blaming me for having responsibilities as a single mom. I’ve never felt this kind of connection with anyone. I am distant toward him now as I make my plans to leave. If you haven’t yet, stop ALL contact, Ben! These are some reasons why he won't leave you alone. When she started to enact her plan, it went horribly awry and back fired in her face and of course she blamed me. I’m so thankful right now that I found this article and judging by the comments I’m not alone. Again nothing to do with me . He pushes so that he maintains control of me, and pulls me back in when he needs ego supply and love. Join our mailing list and receive our weekly posts right to your inbox, Narcissists, No Contact and the Spaghetti Technique, Putting the Focus on You – Where it Should Always Be, Having a Big Heart vs Being Empathic Know the Difference, Do You Know How to Love? by subjecting you to neglect and total indifference. as reading many of the other posts on here I too experience many of these qualities. Afterwards I took her to lunch and I began to feel something was just not right. And I’m getting stronger everyday. By this point in the game, he’s probably immune to the severity of his actions. She didn’t care. Then her ever prevailing to use whatever she can every time I talk to her to rope me back in and I’m having to be more diligent in spotting this crap than a drill instructor spotting a recruit out of line. Well, no more. Maybe that’s because you think it’ll help him get a … I called n called n texted and he ignores me. Good luck everyone. Didnt wish her happy birthday for the first time like I always did nor congratulate her on her graduation from college. I then asked him why l should tolerate this behaviour from him. It is never too late to escape – keep reading blogs/books and equip yourself with all the knowledge you can. I am alot like you spending 7 years with repeated mental abuse until I ended up at the mental health clinic. Like I feel the same way, I feel like you do the same thing to me do that’s why I do it to you. It’s true. I am putting one foot in front of the other, everyday…several times a day. So now, he was a liar (maybe he had been all along). I thought he was suffering depression or a personality disorder and felt sorry for him despite the suffering he caused me. And I wish that I had never met this horrible excuse for a human being. They don’t like rejection, so they want to check – are you married, did you have a baby, do you have a boyfriend…. She also would get upset with me and just act like she didn’t care and would tell me she was going to go out. Which I have done. Know that their problems have NOTHING to do with you. The possessiveness ‘because he loved me so much’ and the isolation were simply too much. Husband cheating? I caught him in his lies and flipped out. He caused fights with my friends. I know I have to get it together and can’t let him destroy me like he’s been doing. Mel x, I know how u r feeling and I can relate cos I am in a situation like urs , but after sometime of ur ex trying to Hoover u , u will know well that it is just a way to discard u even faster Told me he loved me and I’m the only he felt like this about ever. I’m finding it really hard..the fog finally lifted and I saw my boyfriend for the monster he really is..after going through the cycle of honeymoon period to silent treatment to him leaving them reeling me back in..this man controlled everything in my life..I now have no friends or family to turn to and I’m now financially ruined….but I’m looking forward to a future free from abuse.. If I threaten him he will obide by my threats but hell do the very thing I tell him not to do. It’s so difficult as he uses the kids to break no contact after which the converstion drifts to our relationship. Well, as soon as he could see I was still hung up on him, he dropped the effort. It’s been a year and he refuses to grant me the divorce and the mind games have become targeted to destroy me and isolate me from my support structure. I mind my business and I literally try to go on and here he comes. LOL! I emailed saying pleas don’t email me or come around my house anymore etc etc…. 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