Our relationship isn't perfect (not many are). If your bf won't support you it isn't anyone's fault but your bf's. Commentary by:Joe Jo (Twitter: @joverdose)Bart Kwan (Twitter: @bartkwan)Geo Antoinette (Twitter: @Geo_Antoinette)Edited by: Devin White (Twitter: Kidharu)Submit Questions Here:www.askthefeels.comArtwork by Nina Faelnarillustrationsbynina.comIG: http://instagram.com/illustrationsbyninaFB: http://www.facebook.com/illustrationsbyninaOur Other Channels:NEWS CHANNEL:http://www.youtube.com/JustKiddingNewsFILMS CHANNEL:http://www.youtube.com/JustKiddingFilmsBEHIND THE SCENES CHANNEL:http://www.youtube.com/JustKiddingPartyGAMER CHANNEL:http://www.youtube.com/JustKiddingGamerMERCHANDISE:http://www.justkiddingfilms.bigcartelWEBSITE:http://www.askthefeels.comTWITTER:http://twitter.com/askthefeelsFACEBOOK:http://www.facebook.com/AskTheFeelsINSTAGRAM:http://instagram.com/AskTheFeels It keeps your relationship light and fun for both of you. I mean I do think she shouldve addressed it with James first and come up with a strategic plan for an intervention instead of making what Im sure was an unplanned, off the cuff remark (maybe when she was intoxicated herself). I never treated her differently even when i knew what she was doing and neither did i bring it up to her. I also think, what kind of life partner would that make me if his family didnt like me, and if i didnt care about what they think? LW made to big errors here. We and our partners use cookies to Store and/or access information on a device. November 30, 2017, 10:38 am. Sometimes i think it's thick of me to ask him to defend me because i'm just his girlfriend but the thought about being associated with his family for the rest of my life scares me. and our A man might keep you from his family because thats his own safe space. Which it appears hes not there yet. She says that the brothers business is very successful. I am defending you on this one, I am just tryning to give you my take on how to approach this to resolve it. You or your partner could say something like, "We're really glad that you care about us, but we'd rather not discuss our finances anymore. IME, people who do stuff like this tend to constantly give unsolicited advice to others about their life choices. We and our partners use data for Personalised ads and content, ad and content measurement, audience insights and product development. . Its like this elephant in the room. I also agree its not her place to comment on their work ethics. and if they did i wouldnt hesitate to stand up for my boyfriend. December 2, 2017, 3:16 am. And as weve seen time and time again, volatile, abusive men can turn their rage toward families, friends, SOs and anyone that happens to be around. Then shes surprised that he flipped his shit on her? This made it hard to develop any relationship with his extended family (that are also close to my boyfriend) because they already had a bad impression of me and of course they'd believe the sister because she's family. Started Monday at 06:41 PM, By November 30, 2017, 9:55 am. She spreads nasty rumors about me to her cousins, that i force my boyfriend to buy me stuff, that i beat him up, that im difficult to be with yadayada. You have done all you can, he's the one that needs to do things. They might live in different parts of the world, or he might not be able to make any visits himself. my wife is always disappointed in me. His sister is definitely a terrible person. The Page has either been moved or deleted, or you entered the wrong URL or document name. Maybe he isnt embarrassed by you, but he wants to protect you from their influence or judgment. My family is extremely welcoming, even if it comes at the price of being at the receiving end of a playful jab or two. His dad dislikes almost everyone in his life, including me. It sounds like before the fourth of July, they were very close. Just because theyre family it doesnt mean they can get away with treating a girl like sh*t who didnt do anything to them. This relationship is beyond repair. Do I walk away and allow my heart to break as I eventually move on, or do I fight and try to work this out with James and see if Ross can change in time? No indication that she and bf have combined finances, so they are not partners. She was just too stupid to understand for herself that our town is too small to date multiple guys at the same time without other people noticing. Create an account to follow your favorite communities and start taking part in conversations. Will this be a Red Flag for her? He might have aspects that he doesnt want to tell you about. I dont expect to be liked by his family. She thinks he after the fact has to have her back. It sounds like he may have some mental health issues in addition to the alcoholism and that is one reason LWs bf is protective of his brother. It wasnt about his brother but she never apologized to me about that. She hasnt apologized for it yet. It seems Ross is Ross and Ross lacks self control. He might want to keep away from his family himself until he has some issues resolved or good news in his life and career to share with them. His friend then said, yeah, because you have the internet for that.. Knowing what we know about Ross, Im hardly surprised at his reaction. At a certain point, I would feel like a moral failure for *not* saying something. Thats doesnt even approach normal. We live in a brand new time where we have this magnificent and expansive ability to create our own definition of family. Yes, this would be a deal breaker for me. Clearly, the love between you is mutual, and I think whenever love is offered and its wanted, and it doesnt cross lines of inappropriateness, it should be shared and celebrated. It is unacceptable.. I promise, after the sting of this hurt heals a bit, you will find love again. How do I know, bad breakup. That is a huge boundary crossing. Bittergaymark Still, I'm sure there are plenty of folks, in-law or blood related, who simply don't like each other. Even if you crossed a line, Ross is volatile and dangerous. No, but nor am I KNOWN TO HAVE ANGER ISSUES!!! I dont like that your parents have a close relationship with another child thats not mine.?? You may feel as though you are and you love this child in all but you are not. Ive already discussed the idea that he might not be ready for a serious relationship yet. I think you jumping to the . When my BIL was being a total tool during his separation I definitely had thoughts but its a delicate situation and me barging in throwing opinions around wouldnt have been warranted or welcome. Clearly, he does not. Started February 23, By Your energy should be focused on yourself and your life, school, etc. Even if she should not have initially confronted the brother, her behavior does not equate to or justify the recipient reacting by committing assault. I honestly think you deserved what you got, provoking someone known to have anger issues like that. For wives, this is often an issue of respect. Dead wrong. Everyones relationship with their families is different, but some family members are just easier than others to be around. He loves them and doesnt want to risk compromising these relationships and values them more than the relationship he has with you. Don't worry about seeming naggy if it's something you're worried about. Thats what she was doing here. Just because he doesnt introduce you to his family doesnt mean that there is something wrong with you, especially if you are in a casual relationship and not looking for a serious commitment. ele4phant I didnt though. This makes me mad. Like ? I told the SO about this and he thinks im overreacting and he thinks its wrong for me to get mad, he doesnt acknowledge the fact that this is hurting me and ultimately, he does nothing to remedy the situation. Consider yourself lucky youve learned how disturbed Ross is and how impotent James is to do anything before you actually legally tied yourself to these people. Your hatred for his sister and your resentment for him have gotten to the point that you've come here for help. It really upset me. Shes his girlfriend, they could break up tomorrow and she would no longer be a part of his success. strawberrygurl Do it, it will clarify this unhealthy dynamic, everybody will have to chose a clear position. If this is the case, he may not have time but only if they are important enough to be in high demand of his time. Or maybe youve only been together for a short while. Ill take you through it. December 2, 2017, 1:31 pm. So while you may normally have just brushed something off if this sister were anyone else, you are supercharged for everything she does. I'd start there, because a general dislike of someone's family member isn't anything a person can 'defend' against. December 2, 2017, 12:07 am. Love is not a cup of sugar that gets used up because its extended beyond traditional blood ties. If you've been using dating apps, you've probably encountered the frustrating phenomenon of potential matches saying "I'll get back to you" and then never following through. Even if your boyfriend doesn't like the way his friends talk about you, if he stands by and does nothing to . His drinking is his issue to deal with. If it was just a bad reaction at the restaurant, I might agree with you. Also, shes not a partner in their business. The following summaries about boyfriend doesnt defend me to his family will help you make more personal choices about more accurate and faster information. It does sound like he is dismissing your opinion. She puts relationship on hold. He might have areas of his life that you arent supposed to be part of it. He accepts and welcomes my part in his life even when it is a bit overboard (which i can admit). This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies. Does that really impact how you feel about him? Started November 20, 2022, By . Its always good to go slow and to meet his family in a friendly manner before there is anything serious to discuss. MOA, Ruby Thursday SwatTeamLeader Like me on Facebook to see more articles like this in your feed. Look at the URL. This is a problem that you created, and Im not surprised your bf isnt jumping to your side on this one. I can take that. Im thinking that when you explained the incident with the rage to a counselor they would have a point of view different from what James is used to getting from his family. Be aware of your boyfriend's family and friend dynamics When you start dating a guy or marry your boyfriend, you step into family and friend patterns that have been going on for as long as they've been alive. When I finally asked him to defend me, he got angry. By keeping you out of this circle it could be a way to keep you out of the drama and pain that he has to endure. Why do you want to meet his family so badly? Ruby Thursday I do think that in the future, you need to look at your judgment though. What got her so riled up against me is because she constantly cheated on her ex boyfriend with like 3 other guys. Dont be offended. She has no right to mention or worry about whos working harder. I would brush it off but i cant help it if it hurts. While ***holes certainly exist, from my experience, the folks who truly are caricatures of d-bags are few and far between, and thus I tend to instinctively scrutinize folks who come in here with subjective terms and no concrete examples before I grab the pitchfork. LW1: I dont think theres anyway to salvage this relationship. Could be he is more in the right than you, don't know enough to judge if I would respond the same as him. You should also accept and understand that he might not be as open about his love life as you. A man might keep you from his family because he is embarrassed by you. December 1, 2017, 1:45 am. 2. Sorry, but if James actually had your back, hed be railing against his brothers behavior toward you and doing everything he could to protect you from him. Brushed something off if this sister were anyone else, you are supercharged everything., provoking someone KNOWN to have her back you entered the wrong URL document... 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